> [!info] voices that fuel my creativity > this is something new im trying as documentation of my creativity and thinking. These notes are intended to be for me and my work. So they are messy, with typos, language switching, raw, non-sense. It is a vault to keep everything that comes up, and you are invited to look at it ### “…The soul comes first, and the craft is to assist the soul to express yourself.” # (untitled) 3rd ALBUM (2025) ![[Pasted image 20250129161252.png]] 21.11.24 - first night cronologia: ***fractura del sueño*** = soñar con una experiencia lejos de casa, marchar de un hogar fragmentadao, mi camino ***die wellen*** = soledad, inseguridad emocional, amores rotos, añorar, **(?) - third album** = grief, loss, suffering, growing (from them), renuncia de sus experiencias (unlearning), > "Ahora siento y pienso adentro lo que habrá dentro de mi. Lo que habrá dentro de mi. Yo lo busco y no lo encuentro, mi manera de sentir. Mi manera de sentir. Yo la busco y no la encuentro, alegría de vivir. El infierno de tu gloria ha pasao' por mi. Mi manera de sentir. Lo que habrá dentro de mi. Yo lo busco y no lo encuentro. Mi manera de sentir." **de dónde vengo?** sé que por un lado hubo un hombre emocional que aguantaba los latigazos del trabajo duro y lo que la sociedad esperaba de él. Un hombre que tenía que demostrar ser un "Hombre". Al lado de una mujer que pasó hambre y que posiblemente le quitaron demasiada alegría. Una alegría que se la sustituyeron por miedo al mundo, a las personas, al confiar, al amor. por el otro lado, una historia de migración. De abandono. Unos por dejar la tierra querida atrás. Otros de ser abandonados, encontrando la salvación en la comunidad gitana, durante una infancia ya cancelada, para rapidamente marchar y creer en la familia una vez más. ### Conceptual body: Grief **an honest teacher**. It impacts every aspect of us: emotional, physical, spiritual and creative. it transforms us, often painfully, but it also opens channels of deep **connection**—**to ourselves, to others.** elisabeth kübler-ross - stages of grief: - denial - anger - bargaining - depression - acceptance **These are a spiral, not a straight line.** They come and go multiples times with different intensity. Like waves. An emotional landscape that is complex and unpredictable. It can bring sorrow, anger, guilt, relief, confusion, and even moments of joy > [!warning] > these could be some of the main bones for the album structure (?) > > i need to think if I want to exclusively touch on Grief or be more broad and include also family origins, unlearning stories, my fears **spiritually** grief challenges and reshapes our understanding of the world. it can deepen our connection to something greater, whether that’s community, art, or a sense of the sacred. it often raises questions about purpose and meaning, leading to a reexamination of values and identity. --- (we) “living beings who breathe and feel and suffer and love” (death) a prolonged process that deeply impacts an entire family. ![[Pasted image 20250127113856.png]] ![[Pasted image 20250127114543.png]]![[Pasted image 20250127115044.png]]![[Pasted image 20250127115213.png]]![[Pasted image 20250127120219.png]]![[Pasted image 20250127120342.png]] #### **Rebirth from loss and Grief** Jung explored different forms of rebirth, emphasizing that it often follows periods of darkness, loss, or profound challenge. - **The Alchemical Nigredo:** Jung likened the psychological process of rebirth to alchemy, particularly the _nigredo_ phase (blackening). **This stage represents a descent into chaos, darkness, or despair—often triggered by grief or loss**. It is a necessary breaking down of old structures to make way for renewal. Jung saw this process as painful but essential, describing it as the "**death of the old self**." - **The Circular Nature of Life:** Jung believed that life operates in cyclical patterns, where endings are followed by beginnings. Grief, as the "ending," initiates the process of transformation. He wrote, _"Life requires for its fulfillment not only the positive but also the negative. Death is psychologically as important as birth."_ > [!warning] > Por ahora el duelo y la pérdida lo entiendo como un mar de emociones que provienen de todo el espectro. Desde el sufrimiento y la alienación más intensa y turbulenta, hasta la satisfacción de sentir el calor y la luz de un nuevo comienzo, de la posibilidad de entender, de abrir. Tumbar los muros psicológicos en nombre de la autenticidad, en nombre del amor. Grief and pain are necessary elements of Rebirth. In other words, they lead you to the authentic self, to authenticty. The suffering and desperation triggers heavy weight mind shifts. It questions your values, your soul, your existence. "Am I doing things right?" Is this how I wanna be in this world?" Understanding death can align you to the archetype of death and rebirth. The death of the ego is something very desirable to me right now. "a kind of symbolic death, where the ego is forced to confront its attachments, illusions, or false identities. This "death" creates the space for a new, more authentic self to emerge." > [!note] > **Active Participation**: Actively engaging with grief rather than passively enduring it. This might involve creative expression, introspection, or exploring symbols and rituals that help give shape to the grief experience. --- #### **quotes on Grief:** "The purpose of the descent is to regain treasure, to bring something back from the darkness into the light." "Rebirth means that a new center of personality has been born. The old center was too narrow or too immature to include the whole man." "Suffering calls us to life in a deeper and more authentic way. It is the wound through which the light enters." "The death of the ego is the birth of the Self." "A first sign of the beginning of understanding is a wish to die" "To speak of hope in the face of grief is an insult to the depth of pain." "Perhaps grief is the last proof that we truly existed." --- #### The Human Experience: (How cultures experience Grief) Grief is one of the most universal human experiences, yet it’s also deeply personal. It’s a paradox: something we all share, yet something we each feel uniquely. Nowadays Grief is more of taboo for western society, some cultures or previous timelines treated Grief as a public act, not privately. Ancient rituals, strict long periods of Grief. Opposite from now, where we tend to scape and "move on" *(which is absurd, and not possible)* Grief can be a reminder of our impermanence and the importance of living virtuously. Grief as an encounter with the absurdity of existence. It forces us to confront the meaning (or lack thereof) in life and death. Grief doesn’t end with “letting go.” Instead, we maintain a connection to the lost ones through memory, rituals, and ongoing relationships. *Psychology shows us that grief is not something to “fix” but something to navigate, with patience and self-compassion.* ## Album aesthetics, narratives & intentions **// a set of rules:** making this record is gonna be a ritual this record is gonna be an elegy to honor suffering to honor life i will tap into memories to re-experience the love and loss i will sit with them and myself i will sit in solitude i will make this my own this is for me i will be vulnerable i will be authentic i will challenge myself i won't repeat the same --- i want to use my voice i want to write words, poetry non dialog movie scenes as background noise #### **// posibles estructuras** it all begins with a ritualistic service. The presentation of mourning. Of death. the sound of the gates to despair. To loss. To suffering the record can be a spiral it could even be listened either from beginning to end or from end to beginning recurrent motives or words will be presented through the different tracks, a representation of the internal monologue one has when suffers that fucking voice that doesn't knock on the door to come in undesired dialogues *([Kendrick Lamar does these personifications really well](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EYiOL90Ty4))* #### **// matices** Grief holds multiple emotions simultaneously - this can be represented as abrupt switches, heavy contrasts. (explore poetic forms and techniques; caesura, repetition, ) Grief involves revisitng memories - i could represent specific moments with my loved ones through motives or soundscapes #### **// poetic forms & concepts** 1. Basic Structure Concepts: - Enjambment: Where lines flow into each other without pause → sounds that spill and overlap, dialogue cuts: "*importó el guión?*" - Caesura: Strong pauses within lines → meaningful silences or stark contrasts - [[Stanzaic Patterns]]: How verses are grouped → ways to structure musical segments - Volta: A dramatic turn/shift in the poem → moments of transformation in composition 2. Sound and Repetition: - Anaphora: Repetition at the beginning of lines → recurring sounds that gain new meaning through context - Consonance & Dissonance: Harmony and conflict in meaning → contrasting gentle textures with harsh elements - Assonance: Repetition of vowel sounds → relationships between similar timbres - Alliteration: Repeated initial consonants → patterns of similar sonic attacks 3. Metrical Feet (Rhythm Patterns): - Iamb (da-DUM): Like a heartbeat → quiet-loud patterns - Trochee (DUM-da): Like "APple" → strong-weak patterns - Dactyl (DUM-da-da): Like "HAPpily" → strong-soft-soft patterns - Anapest (da-da-DUM): Like "to the MOON" → building to climax 4. Conceptual Approaches: - Synesthesia: Translating between senses → converting spatial/emotional experiences to sound - Metaphor: Indirect representation → using sound to evoke emotions or memories - Imagery Through Sound: Creating sonic pictures → combining field recordings with processed sounds #### **// practices** go back to places that hold meaning of my loved ones and record them (grandma's home) dialogar con el duelo a través de la impro escribir cartas a las perdidas #### tone & aesthetic inspo: <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/6V3m4B3_Xdk?si=Vucha__HL2j7Mdi9&amp;start=166" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe> <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RaTAlvbC_T4?si=8O_-zo4fbHUxSKjO&amp;start=166" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe> <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RcJg4XyCgn8?si=kCS-3_xdzM3qxohR&amp;start=166" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe><iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UShH9gQJUZ8?si=LJ0lvQuJuqP-glFT&amp;start=0" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe> <iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/326637744&color=%238cb9a3&auto_play=false&hide_related=true&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=false"></iframe><div style="font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc;line-break: anywhere;word-break: normal;overflow: hidden;white-space: nowrap;text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif;font-weight: 100;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/peter-wullen" title="Peter Wullen" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Peter Wullen</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/peter-wullen/cosmic-peter" title="Seed Of The Cosmic Horse (Bella Rework)" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Seed Of The Cosmic Horse (Bella Rework)</a></div> <iframe width="100%" height="166" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/553334931&color=%238cb9a3&auto_play=false&hide_related=true&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=false"></iframe><div style="font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc;line-break: anywhere;word-break: normal;overflow: hidden;white-space: nowrap;text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif;font-weight: 100;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/bellacomsom" title="bella comsom" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">bella comsom</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/bellacomsom/persephone-trecho-interface-2018" title="Persephone (trecho) - INTERFACE 02" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">Persephone (trecho) - INTERFACE 02</a></div> <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/1RrsiGmLp_E?si=R5q06by0wL2fdgPo" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe> <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/IHvRY1SC9qw?si=JB0zC9BpKbaMKOOJ" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe> movies (& stills) Three Colors Blue Todo Sobre mi Madre Secret Sunshine After Lfie Drive My Car Petite Maman The Farewell The Darjeeling Limited Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father ![[Pasted image 20250210105758.png]] ![[Pasted image 20250210105804.png]]